Mailbag
I get letters now.
Editors note: I am sympathetic to the idea that compassion demands a walled garden be maintained for those with intellectual disabilities, to protect them from certain realities. The cruelty the genetic lottery has dolled out to them is enough to bare without having their misfortune waved in their faces for the entertainment of others. But I also think that not everyone can live in a walled garden all the time. In order to maintain the garden, some of us must bravely venture out beyond the boundary. This boundary, valued subscriber, is the very boundary you are now approaching. So if you think you have what it takes, gird your loins and boldly declare yourself “not-retarded” as we venture forth past the walls of the garden, where wicked, wild weeds grow like distributed digital currencies, whether or not we wish them to.
Dear Editor,
With the election fast approaching, I thought it would be remiss if I did not offer my own platform of ideas for consideration. Today I would like to discuss my plan regarding recent advances in Artificial Intelligence. I think most of your readers will agree that it is only fair for AI companies to pay royalties to use the voice or likeness of a person in their AI. I would like to propose a further restriction, namely, that in addition to paying royalties in order to use someone’s voice or likeness, they must also have a DNA test confirming that person has Down Syndrome.
Yes, really. I’m saying we should quite literally make AI retarded. With the rate of innovation in AI space accelerating at an alarming speed, it is imperative that we act quickly and decisively, so I invite all Americans to join me in my campaign to MAKE AI RETARDED AGAIN.
Now, many may find this wording objectionable, or perhaps even the whole idea of it seems wrong. Indeed, I understand these concerns, as I know many will attempt to shoot the messenger, and I will be derided vigorously, despite my considerable foresight and past contributions to society. Never the less, at this fateful moment in history, I believe this is what we are called to do, what we must do, not just for the non-retarded, but for the retarded as well. In order to succeed we must compete in the attention economy, and use words that are both clear and attention grabbing. MAKE AI RETARDED AGAIN will create lucrative careers for the exact people that have the least ability to do most other work, and give them an important, possibly civilization saving role in society, creating potential for a purpose and pride previously out of reach for the retarded. At the same time it will become, in virtually all cases, trivially easy to identify whether you are talking to an AI or a human. Being impersonated by an AI will become illegal and rare for the non-retarded many, and prestigious and highly profitable for the retarded few.
As AI gets more and more intelligent, humans will begin to see AI as godlike geniuses, and thanks to my genius, totally not-retarded plan to MAKE AI RETARDED AGAIN, having down syndrome will become associated with godlike genius.
MAKE AI RETARDED AGAIN will be a boon to women too, as although they will still have to compete for mates with AI girlfriends, those AI girlfriends will all have down syndrome.
At this point I hope readers will be coming around a little to my perspective. The benefits are clear. But maybe they have one last lingering doubt. They are thinking, "Actually, this sounds great for the retarded. So good, in fact, I’m concerned non-retards might be tempted to pretend to retardedness, in order to enjoy the copious benefits afforded to the retarded under MAKE AI RETARDED AGAIN.” Alas, while I have no doubt that a great many people can quite convincingly (a little too convincingly) act retarded, I think they will find it difficult to add the extra chromosome that is required for such work. Thank you, and God Bless America.
Sincerely,
Satoshi Nakamoto